March 28, 2014 2am
Uncovered. Dismantled. Protected by a higher force. I lay and weep. I watch and learn. In silence. I observe. The ways to be and not to be. Perspective. It changes the attitude. The present. The outcome.
Pulled by the strings of past missteps and I wish for sorrow to not follow me back.
Stretched. Cold. Blessed in all. At the ending point. Next to the start line. I see hope and call for her return.
I fall again. I pick the pieces and surrender to the wound. Untethered from the deepest darkness.
Emotions that feed the negative veil that covers my freedom and limitless mind. I jump high. I scream and cry and laugh and bliss out of my heart. The obscure and the light. All me. All one. All in here. The duality. The reality.
I’m here and there and nowhere to be found. I’m lost and it’s fine. No path to follow. Only to carve. What’s right what’s wrong. What’s a judgment if not our own that stops us from fully believing that is simpler than we know.
Shaken. Stripped. Humbled. Stronger. Faithful, and fearful too because it’s all good.
Release and control. I accept them both. Balance. Kindness. Gentle nurturing of my deepest truth yet to unfold.
Compassion first and foremost. So it begins with you. Yeah.. you and me. We are one as you might be thinking who’s the one involved. Same same no difference.
Aloness to be felt. In my core i feel. I want to help. To give and receive. Acceptance. Reliability. Love and understanding. On my own i ought to learn to be able to teach and share more than I could possibly imagine to receive.
I summon the prayer to the beings on call. Heart breaking i find support. I rely on my own. No one to depend on. I cannot share the scariest place in my soul. Not one to hear this song. It’s too much for some. I learn and move on. The true colors come on. I see. And for a moment there’s clarity in all. For i see deeper into your soul when I’m so drenched by the death of my own layers peeling off.
Detached and sore. I must continue. Forgive. Forget. The lesson is not done yet. It must carry on. The dance is to be enjoyed so i take my shoes off. Close my eyes. Feed my soul and dance to the beat of the mysterious new sounds that call me home. Deep, deep down and above. And all around too till I find my core.
Liza
Maui, Hawaii
March 28th, 2014
Lila 