How can one month seem like a year, and a year seem like a lifetime?
How can a heart opening experience be so amazingly painful?
How is it that gratitude can make you cry so hard and make you feel so close to heaven?
Pain is the master and suffering is the lesson that we all need to learn, and graduate to teach gratitude, to show love, to be love.
There’s just so much more beyond what we see, and yet we walk so blindly taking our breath for granted.
If we could only stop and feel, the world will be a better place for everyone.
We are already in paradise, and yet we don’t see the light coming from within. Because we are so afraid. Afraid to feel and see and share the light that burns so bright.
It can blind us, confuse us, makes us feel so alone. Alone walking a path so hard to finally choose to follow, but once started we can learn to fly, to connect, to feel one.
It’s so easy to see and so hard to understand, and at the end we are not alone. We are all one.
Tears in my ears
Holes in my heart
It hurts so much I cannot breathe.
Drowning in sorrow
I’m blurred by its depth
I cannot breathe
I cannot see.
Pounding pain in my chest
I’m blind and deaf
Drowning in my tears
I cannot hear
I can only feel.
If I could only be of inspiration to anyone crossing my path, my life’s purpose will be served.
I want to shine divine light across to your heart, show you the way and carry you around unstable waters.
I want to touch with the healing power that you carry within, melt with your energies, serve you all the way.
Show you the gratefulness for this life and chant the sacredness of love that elevates my soul closer to you.
I want to be submerged in my dreams
Be lost in them
Awaken to a new reality
And never come back.
Sensory input that overloads my memory
Transcends my thoughts
And leaves me lost.
I want to empty my cells
Feel free and crawl and learn to walk.
Dreams so real
So hard to be awake
What is real?
What are dreams?
I choose where to live
And it hurts to wake up.
So pure and clear
I can feel
but only when I shut my eyes.
Resistance to this
To an undistinguished reality
And it hurts to wake up.
So much to say
So much to share
Words like clumps
They don’t come out.
Vocabulary is shortened
And language is only a barrier to expression.
Another outlet to let it come out
If I could only figure that out
I wouldn’t need to sleep this much.
I want peace quiet and sing and chant and dance and paint
But I feel trapped, anxious, up and down no middle ground.
It’s time to sleep
Let me close my eyes and open my heart.
Carta enviada de mi papá a mi en Mayo 10, 1998 Lima, Perú:Observa las cosas como son en realidad. Todos tienen su propio carácter, el cual es diferente a como lo vemos. Cuando algo ocurre, lo único que esta en nuestro poder es nuestra actitud hacia ese suceso, podemos aceptarlo o rechazarlo, lo que nos atemoriza y desconsuela no son los acontecimientos ni las cosas, sino la forma como pensamos y como interpretamos su importancia. Las personas y las cosas no son lo que deseamos ni lo que aparentan ser sino lo que son. Armoniza tus acciones con la vida como realmente es. Los acontecimientos no te lastiman, pero tu percepción de ellos si puede hacerlo. Que no haya vergüenza ni culpa, examinemos nuestras ideas (nos hacen bien?) Cree tu propio mérito. Aprovecha a cabalidad todo lo que ocurre. Cuida lo que tienes en este momento, no hay nada que perder. La vida buena es la vida de serenidad interior, soportar con tranquilidad es el precio. Concentrate en tu deber principal. No prestes ninguna atención a las cosas que no te conciernen. Ajusta tus deseos a la realidad. Te quiero, ojalá tanto como Dios, Up to Heaven! tu pá, Peter
…y en la misma carta un poema adjunto de Rudyard Kipling:No te Rindas Cuando las cosas vayan mal como a veces pasa. Cuando el camino parezca cuesta arriba. Cuando tus recursos mengüen y tus deudas suban, Y al querer sonreír, tal vez suspiras. Cuando tus preocupaciones te tengan agobiado, Descansa si te urge, pero no te rindas. La vida es rara con sus vueltas y tumbos Como todos muchas veces comprobamos. Y muchos fracasos suelen acontecer Aún pudiendo vencer de haber perseverado. Así es que no te rindas aunque el paso sea lento. El triunfo puede estar a la vuelta de la esquina. El triunfo es el fracaso visto al revés; Es el matiz plateado de esa nube incierta Que no te deja ver su cercanía… Aún estando bien cerca. Por eso, decídete a luchar sin duda, Porque en verdad, cuando todo empeora, el que es valiente, no se rinde, lucha y triunfa!
Letter from my dad to me on May 10, 1998 Lima, Perú:Look at things as they really are. Everyone has their own character, which is different from what we see. When something happens, all that it’s in our power is our attitude towards this event, we can accept it or reject it, what we fear and grief are not the events or things, but the way we think and how we interpret its significance. People and things are not what we want or what they seem but what they are. Harmonize your actions with life as it really is. The events will not hurt you, but your perception of them can. Let there be no shame or guilt, but let’s examine our ideas (do they serve us any good?) Create your own merit. Take advantage fully of everything that happens to you. Take care of what you have right now, there is nothing to lose. The good life is the life of inner serenity, quietly enduring is the price. Concentrate on your main duty. Do not pay any attention to things that do not concern you. Adjust your desires to reality. I love you, hopefully as much as God does, Up to heaven!!! your dad, Peter …and in the same letter a Poem by Rudyard Kipling: Don’t Quit When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.