I’m stuck

I wanna scream and cry.
And laugh and dance.
But i cant fathom a smile
When all I feel is longing in my heart.
Palpitations that are stuck cuz i fear to cry and smile out loud.
They pinch my nerves and tighten my soul.
Im free to let go but i wanna hold on.
Theres desire involved.
To be one and all with the universal love.
And to share this deep connection of the soul with someone that knows, understands and molds with you.
Im stuck again because i want to let u know and words dont really flow.
Theres so much more to know, to see to plant and grow.
I dont wanna just float.
I wanna dive deep and comprehend this game of win and loss.
Unbidden feeling of love and lust wanting to be expressed and embraced.
Closing my eyes I open my heart.
My mind I shut and I can feel inside.
It burns so hot im blinded by the light.
I wanna give and give so much
It overflows and I drown.
Will you hold my hand once you climb and made it all the way up?
I wonder whats stops us from being free and surrender to the flow of the unknown.
And I go down once again.
Without restrain i slip and fall.
And u watch the lava and perceive its beauty as it floats down and melts away.
But you dont see beyond the burning bush.
Your senses satisfied.
You close your eyes and smell the roses around.
Receiving their light, their essence and taking it all inside your heart.
Im the rose. Im full of thorns, odorless and torn.
I need watering, nurturing and caring.
Appreciation that comes with understanding from your deepest conscious that love is not about being loved alone.
Its about giving receiving and letting go and dancing to the beat of reciprocality without expectations or should’s do’s and dont’s.
Im embedded by your essence.
I just wanna love and be loved.
And time will only know and teach me to let go and show me the doors along the narrow allies of this path that sometimes we need to walk alone.
We shall meet around the corner.
In the expansion of this love.
Without knowing what turns to take.
I keep walking knowing this long road will only keep going as long as it needs me to go.
We shall meet again in the corners and ups and downs of this divine illusion.
To know once again that we were never alone.

Feb 23, 2013

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