I admire u

 

I admire u for who u are

I admire u for how u write

I admire u for the soul u possess

and for the body that ur soul holds.

I admire u for ur heart

that blends in perfectly with ur core

cuz without this and more, u would’ve never existed

u’d have never been who u are

and I’d have never admire the way u are.

 

Why

 

Why is it that everything is based on decisions,

Why is it so hard sometimes

Why can’t we go with the flow

And let it all go.

Why is it that we have to learn from our mistakes,

Why can’t we just learn from our happiness.

Why is it that it costs it so much to find it,

And then learn that it wasn’t what we were expecting it to be.

Why is it that our happiness is not always up to us only?…

There must be somebody else!

 

My Dreams

 

I thought about it last night; I couldn’t sleep as usual

and it kept going and going on my mind,

like drops of rain running through ur body

it wouldn’t stop unless I escaped.

but of course that meant to stop thinking as well as feeling,

and I didn’t want that by any means.

It kinda disturbed my dreams, but they were part of it; and therefore

‘Those’ were my dreams.

It’s as if I were sleeping all the time, dreaming and thinking consciously

Or maybe awake and unconsciously not being capable to differentiate

between reality, fantasy, love, pain, good, bad,

angels, humans, friends, life or death.

It’s so hard to live…or dream a life this way;

not knowing if the tracks you’re following

or the path you’ve constructed, remodeled, invented or imitated

will guide u to the end of it; to that door, that closes upon you if u don’t bring within ur soul

what u were supposed to come across,

having accumulated it all the way there, so that u can give it to them…completely

in order to cross that bridge, free, weightless;

and go on with ur journey without regrets.

My Root

 

Why give me the burden to solve your problems,

and carry the baggage u couldn’t handle ..

those eventually generated even more for me to carry;

just because u couldn’t handle it, just because u gave up, just because u knew…

there was going to be somebody like me, who the task was going to be assigned to;

Just because… U surrendered.

I guess they thought I was strong,

They don’t make mistakes; they know what they are doing

They don’t hurt u, they don’t lie to u

They know what ur end is going to be…Or maybe, ur beginning.

But they don’t tell u anything, just place it in u like that…

As unexpected as love could be.

But I guess I’m weak, weak as a fallen leave in autumn

that might rebirth from that same root that gave its green,

But it might have another color, shape, texture and endurance this time;

and who knows…It might last until summer…Only they know.

Well, then, I’ll be proud of my root,

I won’t resent anymore the burden it left me when it gave up on this world.

I know everything happens for a reason, for they know it all;

It’s just that sometimes; I can’t bare the idea of being left alone

in this world of my own, with all the burden to carry on, and not knowing how to go on.

It’s hard to move on with all this baggage that now to me belongs.

I have to finish what u left undone, and do it with so much proud on my own,

for when I get to the ending point…I will have nothing to pass on.

Mi Memoria

 

Lo vivi y lo guarde; lo pinte, lo olvide.

lo pense y no lo escribi; lo sufri, lo bloquie.

lo dije una vez y no lo repeti; lo pinte, lo olvide.

lo baile alguna vez, lo cante otras veces;

no recuerdo, claro!… si fui yo, fue el, fue ella, fueron ellos o no fue nadie

solo recuerdo que lo senti, lo pase, lo vivi alguna vez;

pero lo guarde, lo pinte y lo olvide.

y quien lo va a despintar?

si sigo retocando aquellas grietas q se abren en mi pared.

que desperdicio mi memoria!

que diambula perdida por los propios caminos de la vida que fueron creados x el.

Dentro de mi ser, Insaceable la busqueda de su salida,

para expresar las alegrias, penas, cosas vividas, sufridas y aprendidas

que se cerraron algun dia ante aquella memoria perdida.

Busca entre mis sentidos, olores percibidos

que despierten recuerdos dormidos,

de algo malo o algo bueno, pero q seguramente fue vivido.

Busca tambien en mis ojos, la percepcion q le di a lo alguna vez vivido;

y en mis oidos todo lo aprendido mediante aquel sentido.

y en mis manos, en mi piel y en todo mi cuerpo

añora las sensaciones de aquellas memorables estaciones,

q ahora ya su recuerdo forman parte de mi olvido.

Ay memorias! Si todo lo vivido quedo al menos aprendido

y solo el recuerdo al olvido,

entonces comprendere q si no vivo completamente el presente

y no aprendo duramente y plenamente de todo lo q pasa por mi mente;

mañana quizas ya sea muy tarde

para tratar de aprender algo ya vivido.

xq aquel recuerdo sino fue aprendido, se ira al olvido

y no habra marcha atras, solo dias perdidos y una vida estancada por la falta de memoria,

que no es mas q de lo vivido…Nada fue aprendido.

I heard..

 

I heard some have it all and don’t feel anything at all,

I can’t say I have it all, but I can say I feel nothing at all.

I can watch my body, drop dead on the floor.. and do nothing at all.

why can I have it all and fulfill my soul

with a feeling that will do something for my dead body

that feels nothing at all.

 

Speak up!

 

Oh please! Speak up for yourself!

don’t let them tell u how to live..how to love.

Oh! just because u think u’ll look nice, prep and all well done to their eyes?

If u could just look within yours,

U’ll see nothing but a bare soul,

empty, with gaps only waiting to be filled up.

What are u waiting for?

tell them to fuck off! and to go mess up with somebody else’s life.

Nobody deserves it , I know..

but they need to be stronger everyday a little more.

And if this is the only font they’ll learn from,

well go ahead and tell them to do so;

for in this case, if they don’t know,

then, there they are to tell them how…they can look nice, prep and all well done.

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